Divorce is a big decision, one that will massively change your life from the moment of its effectivity onwards. If there’s really nothing you can do to save your relationship as husband and wife; and parents to your children, divorce can be the solution to this conundrum especially if you’re miserable together and it reflects on your kids.
It’s tough enough to separate from your spouse but it’s tougher to see your child grow up confused as to why dad has to move away and mom cries herself to sleep at night. Divorce doesn’t automatically and necessarily affect your children’s lives in a negative manner.
Couples who are thinking about and going through this decision are concerned about their children—how divorce will affect their lives once the decision pushes through. Albeit divorce will shift the way parenting and your family works. Your children may grow up having two different homes and no longer see their parents in the same room anymore (depending on the level of conflict).
The effects of divorce on your children won’t be the same for everyone; it will vary. To give you an idea, here are ways how the massive change will impact your children’s lives.
It can induce stress
Of course, children don't want to see their parents separate and get divorced (except if the relationship is toxic and abusive). This is especially difficult to comprehend for the young ones at ages where they don't fully understand the situation yet. As for the adult children, they can still take it hard but if they see you’ll both find happiness apart; again, depending on the level of conflict; they can accept and respect your decision.
Expect your children to find the situation stressful. It is for them as much as it is to you. Use this time to help manage their stress and minimize it by being there for them and not badmouthing your ex. Divorce can strain the parent-child relationship and during this time, that’s the least you want to have. Be there for one another and help them manage the stress.
Emotional pain
Divorce will hurt family members and close friends, that’s an unavoidable and undeniable truth. Young children, as mentioned earlier, may not comprehend well what divorce is and how it can affect them. But one thing is for sure: they’ll find out how it feels to not have both of their parents around at the same time.
This feeling of loss may prevent them from participating in positive things and activities. They may have this feeling of isolation and pity. If the situation is made clear and you have a concrete plan on how you’ll manage the new family setup you’ll have, explain it to your kids to help lift the emotional weight they carry.
It makes them happy to see their parents thrive
Not everything that comes out of a divorce is negative. Sometimes, even the children themselves realize how much better their parents turn out to be after the divorce.
Of course, they’ll find it distressing at first but as time passes and they see how much happier and successful their parents are living their separate lives will assure them that divorce may be the best thing for them.
For some adults who witness their parents’ altercation almost every day, they could be secretly wishing they’d rather have divorced parents than live in a toxic and abusive home. It can be a relief for some which are positive signs.
They may experience money struggles
Financial strain is a common and often times, constant problem for a single parent who only makes ends meet. The problem is even heavier if the other parent doesn't provide financial support. A single parent’s financial hurdle may mean taking two jobs and work tirelessly. It’s a noble act that their children will surely appreciate in the future. Even more so when they lean towards their own independence.
Divorce is devastating and can be traumatic for some families. This huge decision will bring forth change—it can end a hostile household. It will be difficult but with proper emotional management and support from people you love; and nurture your parent-child relationship, it could be the best decision to finally promote a healthy household.
If you and your spouse are on the verge of divorce or if you’re curious as to how the process work, consult with a divorce lawyer for more information.
About the author: A huge fan of court drama tv shows and films, Chie Suarez also has a knack for writing. She writes for Barwick Boitano Lawyers, a firm of lawyers and legal team offering expert advice and legal solutions to clients in Parramatta and Sydney’s western suburbs since 1991.
